Big Ten makes sure all participants get a trophy

Penn State - choked away 14 point lead to USC, lost 52-49.
Ohio State - crushed by Clemson, 31-0
Michigan - lost to average ACC opponent Florida State, 33-32
Indiana - six win six loss team loses to Utah, 26-24
Maryland - six win six loss team loses to another six win six loss team Boston College, 36-30
Iowa - creamed by Florida, 30-3
Nebraska - bombed by Tennessee, 38-24
Illinois - three wins nine losses. No Bowl appearance.
Michigan State - three wins nine losses. No Bowl appearance.
Purdue - three wins nine losses. No Bowl appearance.
Rutgers - two wins 10 losses. No Bowl appearance.
Northwestern - six win six loss team beats uninspired Pittsburgh, 31-24.
Wisconsin - beats Mid-American conference champ Western Michigan, 24-16. Most famous alumnus of WMU is Sylvester Stallone.

Minnesota - The controversy began earlier this past fall, when several football players and one female student had a pervy sexual encounter the night after the Gophers beat Oregon State. Following the threatened bowl boycott in support of 'gang rape' teammates, Minnesota somehow beat Washington State in a very boring contest, 17-12.

All Big 10 schools meet the maximum allowed 85 scholarships for Men's Varsity Football. With 14 schools split into two seven team divisions, the conference pays for 1,190 players.

So what IS the difference between sprinkles and jimmies? Actually they’re the same thing, it just depends on where you’re from. If you’re a resident of Philadelphia, Boston and many parts of New England, you might ask for jimmies if you want those tiny cylindrical candies on your ice cream. New Yorkers and Midwesterners and a majority of other people just call them sprinkles.

All athletic offices in the Big 10 are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Just come in and and get your free ice cream cone. We don't care if your team lost its bowl game. We just want you to be happy.

This past week ESPN floated an idea of a segregated FBS Division that called for two play-offs. One play off that would feature teams from leagues with television contracts that produce a higher revenue stream and one for leagues with contracts that provide fewer dollars. Northern Illinois athletic director Sean Frazier argued that members of the lower revenue leagues didn’t have a chance to compete for a “National Championship”.

In 2017, there will be the two tier system. The University of Alabama will slaughter some chosen lamb from a substandard conference for one title. The other championship game will feature some mid-major program like Ball State, Kent State or Miami of Ohio against a collection of all stars from the Big Ten. All 14 schools will have at least one player on the team so all BIG TEN teams can say they won a bowl game.

Paul Murphy

Follow me on Twitter at @_prmurphy