When Chicage White Sox ace lefthander Chris Sale returns to his team Thursday to face the crosstown Cubs at Wrigley Field, he'll find a clubhouse a little happier than the one he left.The last time Chris Sale was in the clubhouse he was carving up $13,000. 00 worth of throw-back jerseys that were part of a marketing promotion for the Pale Hose.
You've probably heard the story by now, incredible as it still seems, and read more than a few "Scissorshands" cracks on your favorite social media outlet. Sale, unhappy that the White Sox were planning to use throwback jerseys last Saturday proceeded to methodically cut those jerseys up. He said his beef was a competitive issue. The uniforms were uncomfortable and didn't allow him to pitch at his best.
As a youngster, I would watch football games on most Sundays in the fall in our backyard. The contests were generally three on three battles between the Hurstaks(3) and the Bakers(2). There was always one outsider who was chosen to make it even. Once in awhile, the squads played four on four.
The games were held in our backyard because we had the proper dimensions for a football field. Also, my father would referee the games so that the brothers wouldn't do bodily harm to each other. Ronny and Bobby Baker were always on opposing teams. None of the players wore helmets.
On one particular Sunday, the game got a late start because church had run longer than usual. Having gotten home late, Bobby Baker decided that he would play in his white slacks rather than going home to change. He knew he would face the wrath of his mother, but he didn't care. He couldn't wait to play.
One of the first plays was a run by Bobby around the right side. As he turned up field, he was tackled out of bounds by his brother, Ronny. The sibling rivalry was a thrill to watch. The two were always looking to upstage the other. As the two players got up, all the others started laughing. The Bakers' dog, Major had visited the out of bounds area while the game was in progress. (Dog Shit - 1.) Something that is worthless and of inferior quality. 2.) Fecal excrement left by a dog).
While play was halted, Bobby ran across the street to change his pants. When his mother saw him approach the front door, she told him to "stay out of the house", and tossed a fresh pair of pants out the window. He changed the pants in broad daylight on the front lawn, and hung the soiled britches on one of the hooks on the telephone pole.
The referee put the ball back in play and the game continued.
Paper will cover it, but scissors won't.
Touch football is a variant of American football in which the basic rules are similar to those of the mainstream game (called "tackle football" for contrast), but instead of tackling players to the ground, the person carrying the ball need only be touched by a member of the opposite team to end a down.
It's okay to play with kids but don't baby them. Just because your 7-year-old niece is playing quarterback doesn't mean you can't intercept her screen pass and run it back for a touchdown. She's got to learn sometime not to throw into triple coverage. The patriotic child in the photo wearing red, white and blue is
Chris Sale.
The count is five "Mississippi." And it's a full four syllables—not a rushed "MISS-IPPI." There is not a chance that Chris Sale will ever experience a hard tackle from his brother. Maybe a two hand touch, though.
Paul Murphy
Follow me on Twitter at @_prmurphy
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