Greatest Generation rolls over after Chris Sale fiasco

When Chicage White Sox ace lefthander Chris Sale returns to his team Thursday to face the crosstown Cubs at Wrigley Field, he'll find a clubhouse a little happier than the one he left.The last time Chris Sale was in the clubhouse he was carving up $13,000. 00 worth of throw-back jerseys that were part of a marketing promotion for the Pale Hose.

You've probably heard the story by now, incredible as it still seems, and read more than a few "Scissorshands" cracks on your favorite social media outlet. Sale, unhappy that the White Sox were planning to use throwback jerseys last Saturday proceeded to methodically cut those jerseys up. He said his beef was a competitive issue. The uniforms were uncomfortable and didn't allow him to pitch at his best.

As a youngster, I would watch football games on most Sundays in the fall in our backyard. The contests were generally three on three battles between the Hurstaks(3) and the Bakers(2). There was always one outsider who was chosen to make it even. Once in awhile, the squads played four on four.

The games were held in our backyard because we had the proper dimensions for a football field. Also, my father would referee the games so that the brothers wouldn't do bodily harm to each other. Ronny and Bobby Baker were always on opposing teams. None of the players wore helmets.

On one particular Sunday, the game got a late start because church had run longer than usual. Having gotten home late, Bobby Baker decided that he would play in his white slacks rather than going home to change. He knew he would face the wrath of his mother, but he didn't care. He couldn't wait to play.

One of the first plays was a run by Bobby around the right side. As he turned up field, he was tackled out of bounds by his brother, Ronny. The sibling rivalry was a thrill to watch. The two were always looking to upstage the other. As the two players got up, all the others started laughing. The Bakers' dog, Major had visited the out of bounds area while the game was in progress. (Dog Shit - 1.) Something that is worthless and of inferior quality. 2.) Fecal excrement left by a dog).

While play was halted, Bobby ran across the street to change his pants. When his mother saw him approach the front door, she told him to "stay out of the house", and tossed a fresh pair of pants out the window. He changed the pants in broad daylight on the front lawn, and hung the soiled britches on one of the hooks on the telephone pole.

The referee put the ball back in play and the game continued.

Paper will cover it, but scissors won't.

Touch football is a variant of American football in which the basic rules are similar to those of the mainstream game (called "tackle football" for contrast), but instead of tackling players to the ground, the person carrying the ball need only be touched by a member of the opposite team to end a down.

It's okay to play with kids but don't baby them. Just because your 7-year-old niece is playing quarterback doesn't mean you can't intercept her screen pass and run it back for a touchdown. She's got to learn sometime not to throw into triple coverage. The patriotic child in the photo wearing red, white and blue is
Chris Sale.

The count is five "Mississippi." And it's a full four syllables—not a rushed "MISS-IPPI." There is not a chance that Chris Sale will ever experience a hard tackle from his brother. Maybe a two hand touch, though.


Paul Murphy

Follow me on Twitter at @_prmurphy

Approval rating is not based on looks

An approval rating is a percentage determined by a polling which indicates the percentage of respondents to an opinion poll who approve of a particular person or program.

In October 1968, Cass Elliot made her live solo debut headlining in Las Vegas at Caesars Palace, scheduled for a three-week engagement at $40,000 per week, with two shows per night. Elliot went on a six-month long crash diet before the show, losing 100 of her 300 pounds. According to Elliot, the weight loss led to a stomach ulcer and throat problems, which she treated by drinking milk and cream (and regaining 50 pounds in the process).

Reviews were harsh. Esquire magazine called the show "a disaster" that was "heroic in proportion, epic in scope." The Los Angeles Free Press called the show "an embarrassing drag." Newsweek compared the show to the Titanic disaster.

Critics were harsh, but in the end, it was Mama Cass Elliot who won the battle. In the Behind the Music documentary on the The Mamas and the Papas, a poll was taken from male adults. The survey was based on "how comfortable a male would be in having a sandwich and a beer with a certain celebrity." Cass' approval rating amongst men was 89%.

An oft-repeated urban legend claims that Elliot choked to death on a ham sandwich. The post-mortem examination found that Elliot had died of a heart attack, and no food was found in her windpipe, yet the false story has persisted for decades.

Heidi Klum is a German model, television host, businesswoman, fashion designer, television producer, and occasional actress. The super model is not in the same class with Mama Cass Elliot.

In the same documentary from The Mamas and the Papas, it was revealed that Heidi Klum barely received a favorable evaluation. Her approval rating was only 54%. This was due to the fact that males could not relate to her, and would be disinterested in what she had to say.

The man in the middle with the black hat is Jack Hutchinson from Deerfield, NH. He is the architect for all the planning of the town's 250th anniversary celebration. He is the driving force in raising over $80,000.00 so the small non industrial town of 4,200 people can commemorate the community's historic birth.

The following events will take place over the upcoming weekend due to the work of the retired schoolteacher: Ham & Bean Supper, Variety Show, Cornhole Tournament, Encampments from the Revolutionary War, French and Indian War, Civil War, Excavator Rodeo, Antique Car Parade, Marching Bands, Old Timers' Baseball Game and Fireworks. If it rains, he has a Plan B. Jack's approval rating is just a shade behind Mama Cass.

Severino Trucking Co., Inc. is an excavation contractor with over 40 years of experience in road construction and site development. Working in southern New Hampshire, northeastern Massachusetts and southern Maine, our scope of work includes commercial site development, private subdivision roads, municipal road construction and NH DOT federally funded road construction.

Severino Trucking of Candia, NH just received the largest state contract for roadwork in Rochester, NH of $64 million. The Severino brothers, Ron and Tom are more than just Good Scouts. They are exceptional businessmen who value loyalty and trust in their employees. Having interviewed many Severino workers who will participate in the Deerfield 250th Excavator Rodeo, one can clearly see that they all thoroughly enjoy their work and their company.

If I could set the approval rating for Severino Trucking, it might reach three digits. As a matter of fact, if I could come out of retirement, I would choose this company over Heidi Klum, anyday.


Paul Murphy

Follow me on Twitter at @_prmurphy